Saturday, November 27, 2010

127 Hours

For those of you who don't know, 127 Hours is Danny Boyle's latest foray in his broad spectrum of films. If you don't know who Danny Boyle is, shame on you. Stop reading this, and go pick up Trainspotting, 28 Days later, Sunshine, or Slumdog Millionaire (in fact, you should probably pick them all up and have a marathon, because Danny Boyle is amazing). Based on the real life ordeal of Aron Ralston, 127 Hours is the story of a man who goes on a backpacking trip in the remote Blue John canyons and gets his arm trapped beneath a rock. This film is not particularly plot heavy (in fact, the previous sentence was the entire plot) so if you're really into a good story, you might want to skip this one. It's much in the same vein as Cast Away (less so I am Legend, which, let's face it, has zombie/vampires in it) in that it is a film that's focused on one character, in this case, Aron Ralston (played by James Franco).

Late one night, Aron Ralston decides to go on a backpacking trip without telling anyone where he's going. His mother calls as he leaves, but he decides to ignore the call in favour of getting an early start to his adventure. Soon he's blasting across the canyon side, listening to music and loving life. The next day he happens to run into two girls who are also hiking, a coincidence as they are in perhaps the most remote place in Utah. These girls are significant only insofar as they are the only two people who know that Aron is around in the canyon area. He guides them to an underground pool, hangs out with them for a bit, and then heads off to pursue his own adventure. From then, it's only a matter of time until an ill-fated decision to cross a canyon on an unsteady boulder causes him to fall and dislodge the boulder, getting his right hand crushed between the boulder and canyon wall. The next shot is a face-on of Ralston, with the title credit, 127 Hours, beside his head. It lingers for a few moments and then leaves us alone with Ralston. The rest of the film chronicles Ralston's attempts to remove his hand by trying to chip away at the boulder with nothing but a small multi-tool, and more importantly his attempts to stay hydrated and the slow degradation of his sanity as he remains immobile for 5 full days (127 hours), culminating in the cutting off of his own arm with a dull multi-tool blade.

The first thing i'd like to say is that, as it's based on a real life event, this is perhaps one of the most frightening scenarios I can think of. Indeed, i'd like to publicly declare to all hikers everywhere, but particularly to my friend Brendan Spafford, who reminds me very much of Ralston, to please please always let someone know where you're going. I know it should be old hat for anyone who's actually an experienced hiker, but sometimes we forget things.

I'd like to discuss Mr. Franco's performance, as he is the sole focal point of an hour and a half of your time. I think James Franco did an excellent job of holding the audience's attention, first by making some adjustments to his predicament (he manages to snare a rock with his rope and attach it to his climbing harness, so that he's not holding all his weight with his crushed arm) and later, as he slowly starts to lose sanity, by having a colorful conversation with himself as a talk show host and guest (shot beautifully, more on this later). On a side note - I hope they never do this, because Heath Ledger was legend, but if Christopher Nolan decides to have a replacement for The Joker, I would strongly advise him to put James Franco in the role. The scene in which he begins to lose his grip on sanity, and repeatedly tells himself "don't lose it" is eerily reminiscent of The Joker's mannerisms and tone of voice. While Franco, as Ralston, doesn't quite go completely batshit insane like I would've liked him to, he successfully portrays a man who's clinging onto the last vestiges of sanity and more importantly, hope. The climactic scene in which he finally amputates his own arm is so brutally realistic that you have no choice but to feel what Ralston is feeling. By the movie's end, when Ralston finally gets rescued, you feel as though you've experienced the entire ordeal in the place of Ralston, and your spirits will literally lift off with the medi-vac helicopter. Kudos to James Franco for bringing this horrifying tale to life.

I mentioned before about the scene in which Franco talks to himself as though he is both talk show host and guest. It's shot in such a way that it actually seems as though there are two characters, host Ralston and guest Ralston. Danny Boyle makes use of the in-film camera (which Ralston uses to record daily video journals) to represent the 'guest' and the regular mise en scene camera to represent the host. It is edited in such a way that Ralston is very much having an ongoing conversation with himself.

A.R. Rahman returns to collaborate with Boyle (they previously worked together on Slumdog Millionaire) and he creates a rollicking, heart pounding soundtrack that plays on the feeling of anticipation throughout the entire movie. This is a union that I heartily approve of, as Rahman's music and Boyle's direction go together like Eddie Brock and an alien symbiote suit.

Ultimately, 127 Hours is a tale of idiocy (not telling anyone where you're going), endurance (surviving 5 days with little food and water) and finally, a tale of perseverance and the lengths to which we will go to survive. It's an emotional roller coaster that runs the gamut from joy, to anxiety, to downright fear, and finally, to elation as we see Ralston finally get rescued by people who aren't mirages. Danny Boyle hits another one out of the park, and i'm going to revise my original statement, and say that even if you ARE a plot-heavy movie viewer, check this one out - if nothing else, you'll get to see a pretty gruesome scene of James Franco cutting his own arm off.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows a.k.a. the beginning of the end

So unless you've been hiding under a rock or been severely cracked out for the last decade, you're aware that the Harry Potter franchise has reached it's culminating film adaptation. And as per tradition, I braved the crowds and long line ups (surprisingly short considering it was the first part of the last HP movie EVER) to catch the first viewing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 at 12:02 in the am. Now as a devout Harry Potter fan (I used to write HP fanfiction) I can say that I haven't been terribly impressed by the movies as a whole. While I understand that the films have to be adapted to fit the silver screen, I feel as though the previous movies have cut several crucial elements that were present in the books, as well as changing some things outright. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy the films, I just don't think they stood up to their original source material. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 is the first Harry Potter film that did justice to its book counter-part.

If you've read the book (and in my opinion, you shouldn't even be THINKING of going to see these movies without having read the books) than you're familiar with the plot, and you can skip ahead a few lines. For those of you who have not read the books (shame on you), here's a brief recounting of the plot.

After the death of Albus Dumbledore (played by Michael Gambon), Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) and his best friends Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) set out to destroy the remaining Horcruxes which hold fragments of Lord Voldemort's (Ralph Fiennes) soul.

Right from the get go, this movie is intense, starting with a very emotional scene that is only talked about in the book: Hermione obliviating (memory wiping to you non Pottheads) her parents. This scene was a change from the book that I actually heartily approved of. As the books are from Harry's point of view, we rarely get an insight to what is happening to any of the characters, unless it is mentioned through dialogue. Here, we're able to fully comprehend exactly how much it's costing not just Harry, but Hermione and Ron as well, to complete the task that Dumbledore left them.

The movie moves forth at a blistering pace with all sorts of edge-of-your-seat tension, mixed with expertly timed comedic relief. Radcliffe and Grint have been at this for so long that their banter has been honed into a finely tuned weapon and Watson handles much of the heavy lifting with ease, being the second most prominent character in this film. The scope of the entire film, plus the fact that much of it takes place outside the walls of Hogwarts, really gave the trio a chance to show their acting chops, and they did so admirably.

Quite honestly, there's nothing much to say about this film except go see it. Besides being the motion picture event of a lifetime it is, very simply, a good movie. If anyone plans to go see it anytime soon, let me know because it is definitely a multi-viewer.

Long live J.K. Rowling.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Skyline

This may be the first time that I am outright recommending anyone to avoid this movie. A friend asked me how much of a trainwreck it was, and I replied that it wasn't even as spectacular as a train wreck, it was more like a train that derails but stops a few feet away: not exciting or newsworthy at all.

This is the plot of the movie: A couple, Jarrod and Elaine go to visit Jarrod's best friend Terry in LA. During their stay, Elaine finds out she's pregnant, Jarrod has an anger management problem, and Terry is cheating on his girlfriend Candice. But none of that matters because then Aliens come and they have to avoid abduction, even though the rest of LA has been abducted.

That's it. And if you feel that that plot synopsis is a bit lacking, then you definitely don't want to waste your time on this movie. The cast is made up entirely of unknowns, and while having unknown actors doesn't necessarily mean that the acting sucks, having shitty actors definitely does, and this film is rife with them. Not once did I feel moved by the plight of any of the characters in this movie, not because their predicament wasn't frightening, but because not a single actor could portray the feelings of fear, loss, or hopelessness that one would feel during a globe-wide abduction. The acting is such that you can tell that's exactly what these people are trying to do - act.

Further to the lack of an actual plot, there's a severe lack of dialogue, and again, although a lengthy script doesn't necessitate a good movie, the seeming lack of one in Skyline just detracts from the already low quality of the film. For the bit of dialogue that IS uttered in the movie, I have to say that it's all very cliche and for the most part, inconsequential. "You have to stay strong" is literally a line of dialogue in the movie and at that point my brain melted. Also the script features a lot of dialogue between characters that is and remains unresolved by the end of the movie - such as the reason for Jarrod to be in LA, his anger management, the infidelity of Terry, and Eliane's pregnancy. All this dialogue happens within the first half of the movie, and by the end, the only thing that is touched on again is Elaine's pregnancy, and only by the virtue of her being spared because she IS pregnant. The movie ends in a way that screams "SEQUEL?" to the audience - with the question mark not because it's ambiguous, but because it's a cheap cliffhanger ending designed to draw viewers into supporting a sequel.

The best thing that I can say about this movie is that it is a good vehicle for any pro-cg lobbyists, as the entire movie relies heavily on CG to move it along. As for the rest of it, it remains a plot-less, inconsequential and quite boring movie, with atrocious acting, and a desperate bid for a sequel as an ending. Whoever made this movie should be ashamed to call themselves a film maker. Definitely don't waste your time watching this movie, and if you want to watch it even after reading this, you've been warned.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Scott Pilgrim V.S. The World

It's been exactly one month since my last post. Sorry. This entry is dedicated to Mr. Jeff Raposo, who is responsible for keeping the proverbial fire under my ass lit. Also, I saw the movie with him.

The last few years have seen a great upsurge in the amount of comic book movies being produced in Hollywood. Films such as Watchmen and The Dark Knight have shown that comic book movies are indeed fiscally viable - The Dark Knight being record-breakingly so. It's gotten so that producers and production companies are willing to take a chance even on comics that don't belong to the comic book powerhouses DC or Marvel, namely Brian Lee O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim series. While relatively unknown (relative to contending titles, fans of Pilgrim would beg to differ), Scott Pilgrim has managed to attract the attention of film maker Edgar Wright, director of recent cult favorites Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and the sitcom Spaced.

I must admit to not knowing a single thing about Scott Pilgrim prior to the first time I saw the trailer. And seeing Michael Cera attached to the project, I was even less inclined to give the film my $10.50 and more importantly, my time. But I also know that my boy Edgar really knows what he's doing (the three aforementioned projects being three out of my all time favourites.) And so I resigned myself to at least checking the flick out, regardless of how much I dislike Cera as an actor. And let me say that i'm really glad I decided to peep this one out.

The premise is simple. In order to date Ramona flowers, Scott Pilgrim must defeat a league of her seven evil exes in battle. The entire situation is decidedly less so. Scott Pilgrim, twenty three years old, is finally getting over his ex girlfriend of a year, by dating "Knives" Chau, a seventeen year old high school girl. Despite being ragged on by his band, The Sex Bob-ombs, his sister Stacey (played by Anna Kendrick), and his gay roommate Wallace (played by Kieran Culkin), Scott is happy for the first time in a long time. That is until one night when he dreams about a pink haired girl, the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, dreaming or otherwise. He obsesses over her, until he meets her in real life at a friend's party. Scott is instantly smitten, and just as quickly ruins any chance of ever speaking to her again. The next day, he hatches a plan to speak with Ramona again. Through a friend, he's found out that Ramona has just moved to Toronto and is working for Amazon.ca making parcel deliveries. Ordering something really cool, Scott waits for his delivery. He asks her out and surprisingly, she says yes. They hit it off and end up making out when Scott gets caught in her house during a snowstorm. BUT WAIT. Scott is still dating Knives Chau. His roommate tells him he has to break up with Knives if he wants to date Ramona. He tries, but fails. Like the classy guy he is, he invites both girls to his bands show at The Rockit. Thankfully, he's saved from a particularly awkward situation by the arrival of Ramona's first evil ex. From that point on, it's an action filled fight fest, as Scott Battles his way through the League of Evil Exes.

I've long maintained that Cera's only claim to fame is portraying a wimpy, awkward pushover. Scott Pilgrim is no different - Cera's portrayal of Pilgrim is, well, a wimpy, awkward pushover. However since the rest of the characters are also caricatures, Cera's presence is not an overwhelming factor in thi movie. What's more is that Pilgrim provides a sharp contrast to the seeming douchebags that make up the league of Ramona's exes. Also, the wimpiness of Pilgrim is the furthest removed from a character you'd expect to partake in the battles that occur in this movie. The supporting cast are also excellent in this film. Anna Kendrick plays Stacey, Scott's 18 year old sister. From her last role as Natalie Keener opposite George Clooney in "Up in the Air", she takes the complete opposite tack and convincingly portrays a high school girl (not that the role is new to her, she plays Jessica in the Twilight movies.) Brandon Routh and Chris Evans bust out their comedy chops, playing a Vegan empowered bass player and a "pretty good" skateboarder turned "pretty good" actor respectively. and Jason Schwartzman is getting really good at playing a huge asshole (see Iron Man 2's Justin Hammer.) The surprise breakout actor though, is Ellen Wong who plays Knives Chau. The formerly unknown local girl (from Scarborough!) channels the spirit of a 17 year old in her first relationship with such competence that you can literally feel the excitement, jealousy, and malice dripping from the little asian girl. And she can kick an ass or two.

While movies like Watchmen and The Dark Knight have taken a more realistic feel, putting the "movie" back into comic book movie, recent endeavours into the field have taken the opposite approach (see Kick-Ass.) Scott Pilgrim V.S. The World is definitely a movie that puts the "comic book" back into comic book movie. From the quirky nature of many characters to the presence of onomatopoeia on screen, Wright has created an atmosphere that simply screams out COMIC! in every frame of film. Adding to the comic feel of the movie are the whip quick cuts. Edgar Wright has brought his skill in editing to a finely honed point. Another major contributor to the feel is the quality of the fight scenes in the movie. Though the fights are fantastical in nature, Wright's handling of them i such that they seem almost feasible. Important to note is that Wright seems to draw inspiration from wuxia and classic martial arts cinematography, rather than the new style of hand held shaky camera that many action films have taken to using recently. This is appealing to my own personal philosophy that a good fight scene is one where the viewer can actually see what is happening. Wright manages to re-educate us in something that Hollywood seems to have forgotten: that its possible to create a fight scene that is intense, entertaining, and coherent without having to resort to a "unique" camera style. The fights in this movie are as action packed as anything legendary choreographer Yuen Woo Ping could create, and as well shot as you can ask for.

I had reservations about seeing this movie, but upon viewing of it, I find, as with all of Edgar Wright's other projects so far, that I have fallen in love with the definitely unique film. Wright has one again crossed the boundaries of genre, melding comedy, romance, martial arts, and the essence of a comic book into a single package, which I can safely say has never been seen before. With a little bit of something for everyone, this movie is a top contender for the summer's best hit. If you haven't yet, you must see this movie.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Jonah Hex

Hey all, it's been a while since I last posted anything - I just got the internet back. As i'm sure you've all missed me, i'm dropping a few reviews on you today, kind of like a welcome back. The first of 4 to come is Jonah Hex.

Yes, I did go see this movie. Why? Because I love comic books and any movie based on comic books (except Daredevil...dear god...) and also because I love the wild west. For those of you unfamiliar with the story of Jonah Hex (and i do imagine that would be a lot of you, being as Hex is a more obscure comic title), it's about a confederate soldier just after the civil war era of the U.S.A. whose reluctance to slaughter innocent women and children gets the General Turnbull's (John Malkovich)son killed. As payback, Turnbull and some of his cronies kill Hex's (Josh Brolin) wife and son, brand his face and leave him for dead. Hex is found in a near dead state by some nearby natives, and is revived. During his near death experience, however, Hex learns to communicate with the dead, and wakes up with the ability to talk to corpses. Hex leaves to seek his revenge on Turnbull, but discovers that Turnbull is already dead. Unsatisfied, he turns to a life of bounty hunting to assuage his guilty conscience and his burning desire for revenge. Along the way he meets Lilah (Megan Fox) a takes-no-shit prostitute with a soft spot for Hex. Years later, the US government is looking for Hex because, as it turns out, Turnbull is not actually dead, and is in fact in the process of building a superweapon that will destroy the nation of America. It's up to the reluctant Hex to take down Turnbull and finally quench his thirst for vengance.

The first thing I will say is that this movie, like any other movie with him in it, would be much much better off WITHOUT JOHN MALKOVICH. Seriously, the guy is pushing 60, but age hasn't ripened his acting at all. He is still a pile of shit as an actor, can't keep an accent straight for more than a minute, and generally looks like a gremlin. Malkovich does not work in the role of Turnbull, who is supposed to be a badass motherfucker who doesn't care about blowing up a continent, but Malkovich makes the character seem pretty much like a giant pussy. Also, Turnbull's right hand man is some sort of Irish gangster, which I thought was completely unnecessary, and his fake irish brogue grated on my ears after about 10 minutes.

Josh Brolin, as always, was badass in his portrayal of the scarred gunman, but unfortunately Brolin seemed to be the only one taking his job seriously. Had the rest of the cast been different (minus Fox) we might be looking at a different movie, but sadly Josh Brolin alone was not enough to carry this film.

Speaking of Megan Fox, many people criticized her acting in this film which I believe is unfair. Fox's screentime is so short in this movie that it's almost negligible. However, from the few minutes that she IS in the movie, in my opinion, she gave us much more than in Transformers. Good on you Megan.

This movie earns points for having cool landscapes and art direction (who doesn't love the wild west, really?) but loses out for having pretty terrible casting, acting, and a weak plot. It's a movie that's definitely for 14 year old boys, or anyone else whom howitzers on horses or dynamite crossbows caters to. If you're going to watch it, don't spend money on it.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

The Last Airbender

It's been pretty quiet on the Shyamalan front since his last two flicks, The Happening and Lady in the Water flopped pretty badly at the box office. But he's back and helming the adaptation of the popular anime series Avatar: The Last Airbender, the title of which, for obvious reasons, was shortened merely to The Last Airbender. Once again, if you're looking for a comparison between the film and the cartoon, I unfortunately can't help you there, as I never watched the series. So, keep in mind that this review is based on a stand alone viewing of the film, and has no intention of comparing to the original anime.

This universe revolves around people called Benders, who are capable of controlling the element of their respective nature. The world is divided into the four nations - Wind, Water, Earth, and Fire. All the nations live in peaceful harmony, under the watchful eye of the Avatar - the sole bender who is able to control all the elements. But the fire nation, burning with ambition, seethes against the harmony and is determined to control the entire world. And it is with that notion in mind that they begin their domination, and the Avatar disappears, never to be seen again.

We start off in the furthest reaches of the Water nation. Katara, the last water bender in the southern water clans, is on a hunting trip with her brother Sokka. While on the trail of tiger seals, the siblings notice a dark shape underneath the water. Sokka, thinking that it may be a big catch, cracks the ice, and what he thought to be an animal turns out to be a giant sphere of ice. As they watch, astounded, the giant sphere cracks open to reveal a young boy, no older than Katara. The two drag the boy back to his village, where they discover that he is covered in tattoos marking him as an air bender. They are shocked, as the Wind nation was destroyed by the Fire nation due to prophecies that said the next incarnation of the Avatar would be born into the wind clans. The boy, Aang, is reluctant to speak of his past, but when the army of the Fire nation comes calling, Aang single handedly fights them off, and reveals that he is indeed the last air bender. He reveals to Katara and Sokka that he is also the reincarnation of the Avatar, but chose to run away when this was discovered, as he would be forced to sacrifice a normal life. When Sokka notes that he has thus far only used air bending, Aang admits to the two that he ran away before he could be trained to master the other elements, more than 100 years ago. While on the run, the Fire army got wind of his trail, and he was forced to cocoon himself in the ice sphere. Now, with the Fire nation close to its goal of complete global domination, Aang sets off on a pilgrimage to master the other three elements - Water, Earth, and Fire, in order to restore balance to the world and maintain the harmony of the planet.

The first thing to note is that this film is going to be the first of a three part series, and this one is all about the Water clans. If you had notions of seeing Aang bend everything he says, you can save it for the sequels (if it does well enough at the box office). Secondly, the film is available for viewing in 3D, but i'm not really sure why, as there was hardly any 3D in it. Avatar this ain't (no pun intended.)

Shyamalan's work with the camera and the settings and set dressings is extraordinary. This film is very visually appealing, with lots of wide sweeping shots of beautiful landscapes, and sets that are very elaborate and relevant to the nation they belong to. The world that is created is so fantastic that it's easy to believe in it. Unfortunately, all this can only be said about the visuals.

This film boasts a nearly 100% unknown cast, with its only veterans being Cliff Curtis (whom you may recognize as FBI Director Bowman from Live Free or Die Hard - an excellent movie as a side note), Jackson Rathbone (you probably know him as Jasper Hale, all you twihards) and Dev Patel (who's breakout role in Slumdog Millionaire took the world by storm.) The rest of the cast are fresh faces, and you can tell, are pretty new to acting as well. It seems as though Shyamalan was more intent on making sure their martial arts were perfected rather than their acting, resulting in some stiff delivery of a few lines. But as the majority of the cast are children, they do a pretty decent job of holding the movie. Also, Noah Ringer (who plays Aang) has a serious overbite that bothered me throughout the duration of the movie. Hopefully after this movie he'll have enough money to do something about it.

Acting aside, the bending in this movie, the reason you came to see it at all, is really really damn cool. The bending techniques are all based on martial arts, with each element based on a different style. As a martial arts fan, this is cool enough, but with the added imagery of the elements being manipulated, this movie takes weather control to the next level. If you love The Force, this'll make you wet your pants.

Also, despite it being a Shyamalan film, there is no twist ending to this movie, which is good, because I thought he overplayed that pony two films ago.

All in all, this movie was an entertaining little film. There was a little bit of iffy acting, but that's forgivable as the children will become more seasoned as the series progresses. The main draw of the film, the bending, is visually very cool, and definitely makes you wish you were a master of any element. If you find yourself at the theatres not knowing what to watch, this film will probably tickle your fancy at least a little bit.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Grown Ups

I went to see this movie in great anticipation, mainly because I a large fan of Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, David Spade and well, the whole crew really. I really enjoyed "I now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry", which was directed by Dennis Dugan who helmed "Grown Ups", and also starred Sandler and James.

The Crew - Lenny (Adam Sandler), Eric (Kevin James), Kurt (Chris Rock), Marcus (David Spade), and Rob (Rob Scheider - go figure) are a group of childhood friends who are getting together for the first time in many years in order to mourn the passing of their boyhood basketball coach. In order to do so, they've rented an old beachside house for the weekend, which they used to stay in as boys. The story centers around Lenny, who is a famous hollywood producer. His children have grown up as spoiled, snotty kids who dislike places without cell phone reception and dislike physical activity even more. Lenny is seeing that their interaction with other children and proximity to nature is starting to break them from their shell of xbox and television, and wants his kids to have the full experience of the outdoors. However, his wife Roxanne (Salma Hayek)has a fashion show in Milan, and they've planned on leaving the weekend retreat early to see the show. Lenny has to make the decision whether to go or stay. Meanwhile, the crew's rival basketball team of youth has also made the beach their vacation spot and have challenged them to a re-match of their championship game. It's up to the Grown Ups to show their kids what fun is all about, and to bring glory to their basketball name once more.

Sadly, the title reflects the humour in this movie. Not adult humour mind you, Grown Up humour. Happy Madison productions seems to be moving from the dick and fart jokes that made the company a powerhouse, to a more family oriented medium. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, I respect the lads for targeting a more general demographic, but I will sorely miss lines like "Well let's gay that shit up then! Gay, Gay, Gay, ultra gay."

As a movie as a whole, it also seemed somewhat lacking. The final confontation/altercation/whatever you want to call it just didn't seem as though it had stakes that were not very high. As a result, you as a viewer simply don't really care about the results of the basketball game. In terms of acting, the boys are all seasoned veterans and can hold their own on screen, but the movie itself just lacks any moments for astounding acting.

All in all, this film was a disappointment. It's definitely a good message for young families out there, addressing the issue of video games and television taking over sports and playing outdoors, but as it stands as a Happy Madison production (Producers of fine films in recent years like Grandma's Boy, Benchwarmers, and Chuck and Larry) it falls short.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Splice - DO NOT READ IF YOU INTEND TO SEE THE MOVIE

Oh boy. Now that G20 is over, all the protesters have gone home, and I no longer am needed to secure the precious buildings of the downtown core, I can finally turn my full attention to letting you know about this movie. I saw this one last Sunday, and it's taken me this long to formulate coherent thoughts about this flick. And while i'll try my best to avoid revealing everything about it, this is one of those movies that make it really difficult to talk about without spoiling some of it. So if you're planning on seeing it all, go see it first, then come back and we'll talk. You've been warned - SPOILERS ABOUND.

This movie begins with a breakthrough in genetic technology, with scientists Elsa Kast (Sarah Polley) and Clive Nicoli succeeding in creating a purely fabricated genetic entity, made from the genes of various different animals. Unsatisfied with the direction that the company is asking them to take with the creature, Elsa and Clive decide instead to add human DNA to the genetic mixing bowl. They try hundreds of different combinations on the computer until they final arrive upon the perfect mixture of genes. Clive is satisfied knowing that it is in fact possible, but Elsa is obsessed with taking the forumla to the next level, and while Clive has his back turned, Elsa rushes to the splicer and puts in a few drops of her blood. Unsurprisingly, Clive is none too pleased with this turn of events, but they decide to let the splicing process continue and see where it goes.

In the next few days, the fetus of the spliced creature grows at an exponential rate, and within a matter of days is too large for the synthetic womb that Elsa and Clive have created and they must decide to let it die, or birth it. For whatever reason, they decide to let it live, and soon there is a bipedal, reverse kneed creature pattering about the laboratory. In the coming days, the creature shows an aptitude for pattern recognition and a humanlike cognizance. To this end, Elsa begins dressing the creature in human's clothes, and giving her a name, "Dren", which is NERD backwards (NERD being the science laboratory Elsa and Clive work for, I know, Dren is a stupid fucking name.) At first, Dren is hostile towards Clive and affectionate towards Elsa, as Clive keeps trying to kill Dren. As the days go by, however, and Dren becomes more and more like a child rather than an experiment, Elsa becomes a domineering mother character, and Clive the calm and relaxed father lending his support to the troubled creature-child. At this point, the tables turn and Dren begins to favour Clive more than Elsa.

THIS IS WHERE SHIT GETS FUCKY. I AM ABOUT TO SPOIL THE ENDING AND SOME IMPORTANT PARTS OF THE MOVIE, SO IF YOU ARE STILL READING AND HAVE ANY INTENTION OF SEEING THE MOVIE, LEAVE NOW, SEE THE MOVIE, THEN COME BACK AND WE CAN DISCUSS THIS PIECE OF FILM.

One night, Dren witnesses Elsa and Clive making love. This is when Dren is still child like in appearance. When Dren has grown into her adult form (a matter of weeks, remember), this is taken into account. When Dren is upset by Elsa about not being allowed to keep her cat, she goes to Clive for comfort. In his arms, she begins to kiss him, as she saw that one night between him and Elsa. Clive rejects her first advances, but his resolve crumbles in a matter of seconds, and then CLIVE STRAIGHT UP FUCKS THE GENETICALLY SPLICED CREATURE. Elsa catches them, and obviously is mortified. The next few days are filled with domestic troubles (if your husband fucks a creature you created out of animals, there's definitely something to talk about) until they learn that their superiors have found out about their human/animal genetic experiment. They travel to the farm where they've been keeping Dren, only to find that through some genetic mutation, Dren has become a male, and is extremely hostile. Dren knocks out Clive and then advances on Elsa, pins her down, AND THEN RAPES HER. Clives tries to stop him, but is killed, and then Elsa manages to bash Dren's brains out with a giant rock. At the end of the movie, we see that Elsa is pregnant with a splice baby. Jesus Christ.

So, that was a bit of a heavy read i'm sure, but necessary if you want to discuss this movie with any coherence. And obviously, the main thing anyone will remember from this movie is Adrien Brody fucking a genetic experiment, and Sarah Polley being raped by the same. People will call this disgusting, people will call this a waste of time. Most people aren't interested in this sort of business. But if you're willing to look past the layer of shock, you'll see that what this is, is very smart. Because everyone who sees this movie is going to be thinking about this movie for a very long time. At first, just about the sex scenes, but eventually the thinking will progress to the question of what exactly is human, and what is your moral obligation to a thing that you've created.

In terms of the movie itself, it's one of those ones where nothing happens, nothing happens, nothing happens, then suddenly EVERYTHING happens. Very un-typically hollywood, which I enjoy. The acting could have been a bit sharper, but then I guess no one can really say how they'd act in a situation like this.

At the end of the day, I would say that this movie is not for the casual film viewer. If you *LOVED* Sex and the City, Transformers, A-Team, or any other recent hollywood blockbuster, and thought that they were the best movie in the whole world, you should probably take off right now. Honestly, your mind won't be able to handle this movie. If you're serious about movies, and aren't too squeamish, definitely check this one out because you'll be thinking about it and talking about it for a long time.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The A-Team

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen. Sorry, it's been a while since i've written anything, but i've been busy securing the G20 from protesters. Any, without further ado, The A-Team!

The first thing I will say is that I can't give you a comparison to the A-Team television show, as i've never seen it. It was way before my time, give me a break. So if you're looking to see if it was as good as the original show, unfortunately I can't help you out. And I guess should mention for those people who are abysmally unaware of pop culture, that this movie is indeed based on an old television show.

Liam Neeson plays Colonel John Hannibal Smith, known simply as Hannibal. In the first scene, we see him rushing to save Templeton "Faceman" Peck, a.k.a Face. In the process, he pulls over B.A. Baracus and finds out that he, like Hannibal and Face, is an Army Ranger, and together they go to save Face. Later, in the military hospital they meet Murdock, a quirky pilot that borders on insane. Together, they escape the hospital and outmaneuver and destroy to enemy fighter jets - the first mission of the A-Team.

Flash forward to 8 years later, and the A-Team has become the most notorious clandestine unit of the Army Rangers, and are legendary for their outrageous and outside the box plans of action. While stationed in Iraq, they learn that the mercenary company BlackForset (an obvious reference to BlackWater) has been granted a mission that Hannibal believes should be his team's responsibility. The mission is to re-acquire U.S. mint printing press plates from the Iraqis. Hannibal is able to talk the General into giving them the mission, and they are on their way. However, BlackForest storms in during the mission, and steals the plates for themselves. The A-Team are assumed to be working with BlackForest, and are considered rogue. They are all sent to different maximum security facilities after trial. Disgraced and furious Hannibal embarks on a mission to free his team, restore their honour, reinstate their ranks, and re-acquire the plates.

This movie is the second of two movies this summer that revolves around a group of disgraced ex soldiers fighting the system (the other being The Losers), and this one had the misfortune to be released second. Regardless, even were it not the second string, this movie would not stand on it's own two legs as a box office hit. While definitely an entertaining film, it also definitely lacks substance. The plot is not particularily original (Rush Hour 2 - Lee and Carter have to get US mint printing press plates back from the red dragon casino) as well as slightly predictable. The writing was decent, with some witty banter, but I think that it some deliveries of lines could be better if they had decided to stay away from casting MMA fighters.

Liam Neeson, as always, throws down a solid performance as the leader of this team. He's the brain behind the entire operation and never goes on a mission without a plan. Bradley Cooper seems like a surprise to me in this movie, as i've seen him only in romantic comedies in the past few years. He holds his own decently well, but I think that the writing for his character leaves a little to be desired. Newcomer Rampage Jackson really shows...well, why he's a newcomer. He's not a terrible actor, but he's not winning any oscars anytime soon. The surprise gold in this movie is Sharlto Copley (who you might recognize as the main dude from District 9.) For those of you who don't recognize him, you'd hardly peg him for a South African, more just a very talented actor who has a very good South African accent. You'd be partly right except that it is his American accent that is very good.

All in all, this movie seems very much like a trailer movie - one of those ones that pretty much puts its prize ponies on display for you before you find out it's lame. If you don't know what you want to watch, or are a fan of A-Team the tv show, i'd say check it out but otherwise check it out by other means.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Karate Kid Review

Originally posted Thursday June 17, 2010:

The Karate Kid Review

This was probably one of my most anticipated movies of the summer, and to me it did not disappoint. Before I saw this movie I would classify myself as biased in favour of it, simply because it appeared to be a next Jackie Chan movie. However, upon actually viewing the film, I have to say that it holds up on its own, and it is decidedly not a Jackie Chan movie - more so a movie with Jackie Chan in it.

In this movie, Jaden Smith plays Dre Parker, a kid moving from Detroit, Michigan to Beijing, China. He quickly finds himself alienated in his new surroundings, where everything is different and few people speak his language. Fortunately for him, several of his schoolmates are more prolific in the english languages than his new neighbours - most notably a girl named Mei Ying. It's too bad for Dre that Mei Ying's admirer and close family friend is the school bully, Cheng. Cheng also happens to be the prized pupil of the Fighting Dragons kung fu school, a local club that teaches its students "No Weakness, No Pain, No Mercy" as it's motto. Dre spends the next few weeks trying to avoid Cheng and his cronies after an altercation that left him flat on his ass. He succeeds for a while until he sees an opportunity too golden to miss - flinging a bucket of sewage water onto Cheng and co. Dre then flees for his life, but is seemingly caught in a dead end. It looks like no way out for Dre, until Mr. Han (Jackie Chan), the maintenance man for Dre's building, steps in and shows Cheng a little bit about Kung Fu. Soon thereafter, Dre makes a deal with the Sifu of the Fighting Dragons that his pupils must leave Dre alone if he agrees to participate in the open Kung Fu tournament. They accept, and the rest of the movie is dedicated to Dre's training and participation in the tournament.

I have to say that I loved this movie for several reasons. For one, it takes the action out of typical Hollywood or New York, to an entirely new locale that is rarely if ever visited by Hollywood movies. The scenery and architecture of Beijing is so completely different from anything in America that you have to stop and take a second to fully admire the surroundings that you find yourself in. With its use of sweeping cinematography, this movie shows you what an ancient and beautiful place China really is. I don't know why it took Hollywood to make me realize that my homeland kicks quite a lot of ass - figuratively and literally.

Speaking of kicking ass, another reason I love this movie is Jackie Chan's role in this film. As I said before, this is no JC movie although Jackie is the lead bill. Gone are the hallmarks of JC films - rapid fire kung fu mixed with slapstick comedy and the use of unconventional items as weapons. Instead, Jackie takes a backseat in the action aspect of this movie and indeed, only fights once in the entire 2 hour and 20 minute duration of the film. Jackie focuses more on his acting in this film, and his portrayal of a haunted, lonely man with a bright past and a bleak present really tugs at your heartstrings. I think this is a very appropriate step for the man, because as we can see from his past few films (Rush Hour 3, The Spy Next Door) Jackie is getting a bit old for the stunt game. That's not to say that he's lost his touch - from the few minutes he's in action, he shows us that he still knows a thing or two about Kung Fu.

Another reason to love this movie is the karate kid himself, Jaden Smith. There are moments in this movie in which Smith positively channels his father. However, that's not to say that Jaden Smith is a carbon copy of Will Smith. Jaden brings a lot to the screen, but most importantly brings his game. If you ever thought you knew about karate kids, forget what you know because Jaden Smith absolutely crushes Hilary Swank or Ralph Macchio. This kid can do full splits, and i'm certain will be kicking ass in any future films he does.

Another surprise in this movie is Wang Zhenwei, who plays Cheng, the bully. We don't expect children to display maliciousness or brutality, but Cheng dishes these out in spades. Despite having few lines and not the greatest of english, you can really see that Cheng is filled with loathing for Dre Parker, and wants nothing more to crush his skull. Furthermore, Zhenwei's kung fu skill is such that i'm certain he will have a career in hollywood - particularly if he sticks with JC. I hope they got each other's information.

This is a coming of age story that surpasses the rest that have come out in the last few years. You know those inspirational sports or dance movies (Never Back Down, Step Up, Coach Carter) that try to send a positive message about not giving up and winning when the odds are down. I've never felt that any of these movies are really genuine, because the stakes in them are always so material, like winning a dance competition and the chance to be in a music video. The Karate Kid is a much more genuine film, with a real purpose for its characters to push as hard as they can - as Dre tells Mr. Han, he is fighting so that he won't be afraid any more. And that too me, is a real message. None of this hokey "I'm dancing so I can be a a-list celebrity" bullshit. This story could be about a real kid going through real problems, and that is the reason I enjoy it so much.

I suppose I should touch on the fact that this movie is a so-called "remake". However, in my opinion, this is a remake as much as a tomato is a fruit. Besides sharing the same name as it's 1984 predecessor, the similarities between these two films are so non-existent that they're almost negligible. I would say in fact that the 2010 Karate Kid is a much better film, and has the power to stand alone even without it's namesake. If you love martial arts, Jackie Chan, China, or are even just looking for a change of pace from these formulaic hollywood pictures, go see this film for sure.

Get him to the Greek Review

Originally posted Monday June 14, 2010:

Get him to the Greek Review


First off, let me start by saying that I hate Russell Brand. I have a very marginal respect for Jonah Hill. Regardless of these two facts, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie.

Russell Brand reprises his role as Aldous Snow from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, a (now) has-been rockstar who's career takes a plummet after releasing his new single, African Child. P. Diddy plays Sergio Roma, a record label CEO who's looking to re-energize the music industry, and Jonah Hill plays Aaron Green an employee who works for Sergio. Aaron's suggestion to Sergio is a ten-year anniversary show of Aldous Snow's multi-platinum record, the one released prior to African child. Aaron then embarks on a mission to get Aldous Snow from London to L.A's Greek theatre in 72 hours. Aldous, however, has other ideas in mind, which include drinking, heroin, sex, "Jeffreys" and reconciling himself with his on-again off-again girlfriend/one true love. Heedless to say, it is one wild ride.

This is not a visual masterpiece by any means, and indeed, i'm sure not a single person in the world really expects a movie of this calibre to be that. What it is, though, is a well written, hilarious look at the life of a rock star. Besides being extremely funny, it is also a rather touching story about a man who has lost his way in life, and another man who discovers that meeting your idol is not exactly what it's cut out to be.

Russell Brand pulls his weight quite well in this movie, being a part of the one-two punch combo that is Aaron Green and Aldous Snow. His humour can only be described as "British": lots of understatement and sarcasm, combined with the flamboyance which is purely trademark Brand.

Jonah Hill is also quite funny in this film although it's unfortunate that he is typecast as the same character that he usually portrays: the slightly awkward fish-out-of-water guy who's hilarious in a sort of maladroit way.

The surprise hit of this film though has to be Sean "P. Diddy" Combs. For a man who's only significant connection to film is the Godzilla soundtrack, P. Diddy unleashes a constant torrent of wit and angry (and hilarious) jibes at Jonah Hill's character, constantly reiterating that Aaron must do whatever it takes to get Aldous to the Greek theatre, and releasing nuggets of comic gold - ("Do you know how many air jordans six black kids wear?!?!").

Overall, Get Him to the Greek is a poignantly funny look at the music industry and the effect that producers and ceo's of companies are having on truly musically talented individuals. If you're feeling like having a good laugh, or are simply a fan of Russell Brand, Jonah Hill, and yes, even P. Diddy, definitely check out this film.

Now you've gone and done it.

I finally gave in. Mostly it was the limit of people I could tag in a facebook note. Partly it was people convincing me they'd follow my blog. So I guess for better or worse, this is the start of my film review blog. First off i'd like to express that obviously, everything written in the confines of this box is my opinion only, I don't represent any production, t.v., or media company in any way whatsoever (although if there are any media types who happen across this page, feel free to change that as soon as you wish.) Secondly, everything written in the confines of this box is my opinion only. I cannot tell you what you will like. I don't KNOW what you like. All I can tell you is what I like or dislike - you'll have to make the call to see or not see something based on what you read here. So without further ado, let's talk film.

Originally posted May 31, 2010:
Prince of Persia Review

Despite having a big name cast, despite having the backing of Disney, this movie falls short in almost every aspect. It very much feels as though Jerry Bruckheimer has given up the ingenuity of prior films (Top Gun, The Rock, Con Air) for a formulaic, predictable film, reminiscent of Pirates of the Caribbean (an excellent film).

Not once in the two hour span of the movie was I surprised by any of the plot developments or antics portrayed in the film. Much of the acting seemed very forced - particularily the scenes between Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Tamina (Gemma Arteron). They play the prince of Persia and the Princess of Alamut respectively, and their characters rather predictably fall in love. There is so much cliche banter between the two that it makes my head spin. Alfred Molina plays the Sheikh Amar, a rebel of sorts who runs an unauthorized gambling empire. While Molina serves as comic relief, his character seems a pale imitation of another Bruckheimer character, a sort of kooky, out of sorts man (Captain Jack Sparrow, anyone?) Ben Kingsley pretty much plays Ben Kingsley. I think he's stopped trying to act.

Cinematographically (though that might not be a real word), I can't complain. Excellent visual shots, sweeping landscapes, and a good use of crane camera. This is probably the only redeeming quality of the entire movie.

However, for aa movie based on a video game, the action was definitely sub-par. The fights were edited in the typical 21st century style - millisecond cuts of people doing...something. You can't really see it, but you're meant to understand that some epic fighting is happening, which in my opinion is a cover up for the complete lack of any choreography. Another big factor of the games is the parkour/free running that the Prince does. This is touched upon in the movie, but very repetitive. I can only see someone run across logs conveniently jutting out of the side of a building so many times before i'm thoroughly unimpressed. If you want to see a movie where the parkour makes your jaw drop, i would recommend District B-13, or Banlieue 13 to you francophones.

Altogether, I feel as though this movie could have been so much more, but instead, like many movies, it was subdued by hollywood producers looking to see how they can milk it for all it's worth (i.e. making it a kids movie). Download or rent this one.